Exploding Penguin on a Telly-Vision Set
[This conversation ensues after the radio explodes while two old women are listening to "The Death of Mary Queen of Scots."] Woman 1(Graham Chapman): We'll have to watch the telly then. Woman 2(John Cleese): Yes. Woman 1: What's that on the television then? Woman 2: Looks like a penguin. Woman 1: No, no, no, I didn't mean what's on the television set, I meant what program? Woman 2: Oh. [Woman 2 turns on the TV. It takes a long time to warm up. They speak while they wait.] Woman 2: It's funny that a penguin being there inn't? What's it doing there? Woman 1: Standing. Woman 2: I can see that. Woman 1: If it lays an egg it will fall down the back of the television set. Woman 2: We'll have to watch that. Unless it's a male. Woman 1: Ooh, I never thought of that. Woman 2: Yes, looks fairly butch. Woman 1: Perhaps it comes from next door. Woman 2: Penguins don't come from next door, they come from the Antarctic. Woman 1: BURMA! Woman 2: Why did you say that? Woman 1: I panicked. Woman 2: Oh. Perhaps it's from the zoo? Woman 1: Which zoo? Woman 2: How should I know which zoo? I'm not Dr.-bloody-Bronowski! Woman 1:How does Dr.-bloody-Bronowski know which zoo it's from? Woman 2: He knows everything. Woman 1: Oh, I wouldn't like that, it would take the mystery out of life. Anyway, if it came from the zoo, it would have 'Property of the Zoo' stamped on it. Woman 2: No, it wouldn't. They don't stamp animals 'Property of the Zoo.' You can't stamp 'Property of the Zoo' on a huge lion. Woman 1: They stamp them when they're small. Woman 2: What happens when they moult? Woman 1: Lions don't moult. Woman 2: No, but penguins do. THERE, I've run rings around you logically. Woman 1: Oh, intercourse the penguin. [Announcer appears on the television.] Announcer: It's just gone 8:00 and time for the penguin on top of your television set to explode. [The penguin explodes.] Woman 1: How did he know that was going to happen? Announcer: It was an inspired guess. And now... [End of sketch.] Home